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The Proper Beers to Celebrate Post-LSAT Life

With the finish line nigh, those of you taking the June LSAT have probably already started pondering how best to celebrate taming the beast. It’ll no doubt involve some form of inebriation and many of you will reach for some suds when it comes time forget which logical reasoning questions tripped you up. Since are entering some semblance of adulthood in the form of law school attendance, I propose you choose quality over quantity and snag some craft beer to celebrate. You’ll get more flavor (and thus more enjoyment) for your dollar and you’ll dazzle your friends with your air of sophistication. Here’s the beer I would choose:

1. Unibroue Terrible

Whether the name describes how you feel after the test or how inane your reading comp passages were, this beer is the perfect accompaniment to post-LSAT celebration. Not only does it come in a large format bottle (so you can share with fellow test-destroyers) it is quite high in alcohol at 9.0% ABV and will send you sledding steadily toward the bad decisions you so desperately want a drunken excuse to make.

2. Stone Ruination

The name of this tasty beverage is meant to describe what its bitterness will do to your palate, but I prefer to assume that it’ll describe what you’ll do to the LSAT (and hopefully not the other way around). Loaded with hops and clocking in at a robust 7.7% ABV, you’ll be feeling fine after a glass or two and hopefully the bitter feelings you have for the LSAT will become inversely proportional to the bitterness of the beer.

3. The Bruery Black Tuesday

One of the biggest, gnarliest beers in the world (and unfortunately about as difficult to obtain as a 180), its name will no doubt mirror your feelings the morning after your LSAT bacchanal. Just make sure you have plenty of water nearby and the number of a pizza place that delivers.

Black Tuesday spends at least a year maturing in oak barrels and you’ll probably feel like it takes about that long to get your score back. Fear not, the beer’s titanic 18.4% ABV will clear your brain of all post-test malaise and anxiety. You’ll also need some friends around to help you finish it, so they’ll probably help too.

4. The Lost Abbey Judgment Day

You just got done with your own judgment day (and some people think the real one already happened) so why not literally “drink it in”? You’ve conquered a monster of a test and you deserve a monster of a beer. In keeping with the high-ABV theme, this guy clocks in at 10.5%. You should have no trouble forgetting about all the trials and tribulations of the past few months of studying (and you’ll probably also forget that we’re supposedly all getting judged at some point in October).

Here’s to you and your LSAT success! Prost!