Applicant Ennui: What to Do While You’re Waiting to Hear From Law Schools

Everyone you know is at least mildly perturbed with you right now. They’re tired of hearing about how “So-and-so already got into Law Schools ‘X,’ ‘Y’ and ‘Z’ and I haven’t even heard back from any of them yet!”

Unless you want to lose all those much-needed non-law school friends* before you even get to law school, you need to quit your bellyaching.

To help you on the road to temporarily ignoring the emptiness of your mailbox, we bring you an SEO-friendly list of things to do while waiting to hear from those bastar- . . . law schools:

1. Watch Someone Implode Before Your Very Eyes

Hey, someone had to mention Charlie Sheen, right? And, as he will tell you on his Ustream feed, you’re either in Sheen’s-Korner, or you’re with the trolls. Lord knows you don’t want to be with the trolls. So feel free to wile away the hours watching the type of self-destruction that can only occur with the aid of the interwebz, and contemplate the power of #TigerBlood while sketching pictures of Vatican assassin warlocks.

2. Develop a Back-Up Plan

Let’s face it, some people aren’t going to be accepted at law schools that are worth spending the money on. You may or may not end up in that group (and your LSAT score will have a lot to do with it), but just in case you do, you’ll have to decide on your next move.

You could overspend on a crummy legal education at “Unaccredited U.” or you could explore the other professions the world has to offer. I’ll leave it to you to figure out which is the better decision, but now might be a good time to find out what you’re good at and, after that, finagle a way to get paid for doing it. This activity may not keep you from thinking about rejection letters, but it will keep you from annoying people, which is generally a plus.

3. Construct a Full-Scale Version of Angry Birds in Your Backyard

Sure, Conan already did it, but that doesn’t mean that using a giant slingshot to fling rotund avian creatures at furniture is going to be any less fun when you do it! It’s almost as fun as using unnecessarily verbose descriptions for fat birds (see previous sentence).

Angry Birds is already one of the world’s greatest time-wasters, so why not add extra time and expense!? I know, I can’t think of a good reason either. You now have an excuse to go garage sale hunting on the weekend, buying cheap furniture and all manner of other breakable miscellany solely for the purpose of smashing said furniture while it houses imaginary pigs. Brilliant!

4. Become an Amateur Bullfighter

Like you need me to explain this one. Well, if you insist. Firstly, as all toddlers know, sharp objects are awesome. As a bullfighter, you will get to wield one. It even has its own name: “Puntilla.” Bad. Ass. Not to mention the super sweet outfit you’ll get to wear. Nothing says chick-magnet like brightly-colored, gilded tights. If that’s not enough, you’ll also get to taunt an extremely large and dangerous animal. And haven’t you always wanted to look death in the face? Well, maybe not always, but you probably felt like killing yourself while writing your personal statement.

Need more? Too bad. Time to start using your brain. Nanner.

*Hooray for self-referential blog posts!

Post by UCLA Law School graduate and Blueprint LSAT instructor Alex Davis.