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Why is the June LSAT on a Monday afternoon?


The June LSAT is the only one offered in the afternoon instead of the torturously early morning. But do you know why LSAC has provided this unexpected bounty to us unworthy paeans?

My investigation yielded no insight into the minds of the creators, so we must conjecture in order to grasp at divine knowledge:

Possibility #1: To Foster Stockholm Syndrome in Test-Takers

Stockholm Syndrome is the paradoxical psychological phenomenon whereby captives view their tormentors with kindness because they are seen as “giving life simply by not taking it.” The LSAC is a horn-tailed demon assembled from the discarded parts of thousands of failed philosophy PhD students. But since it has a monopoly on the law admissions test, we must submit to its whims. By offering us an afternoon test, the LSAC gives us the opportunity to be well-slept before encountering its latest cocktail of punishments. Praises be!

Possibility #2: The LSAC Likes to Sleep in Over the Summer, Too

“Read the directions and start working now”: LSAT test booklets undergo transubstantiation into the literal flesh of the LSAC when the proctor finishes their incantation. Most of the year the LSAC communes with the blood, tears, and pencil graphite of its subjects (test-takers) in the early morning. But on the fourth administration, the LSAC rests.

Possibility #3: To Create Mystery

The LSAC knows that test-takers and test-prep companies are creeping ever closer to mastering the actual LSAT questions. This worries the LSAC, which maintains control through fear. Foreseeing that this day would one day come, the LSAC planted various mysteries in its operations in order to ensure that we would feel constantly ill at ease with its dictatorial power. The afternoon administration is one such mystery. The other is the appearance of this symbol on page 24 of every February LSAT (which symbol is believed by many initiates to by the true, secret logo of the LSAC).

The LSAC Director of Communications Wendy Margolis was afraid to respond for fear of revealing too much, or else she hasn’t seen my email yet.