If you’re like me, and write an LSAT-related blog with a deadline that is nearly missed on a near weekly basis, you’ll know that one of the best ways to attack procrastination is by heading over to Wikipedia and hitting the “Random article” link. This hasn’t actually ever helped me write a blog, but it has been invaluable when it comes to finding ways to sit in a chair and not write.

But then I realized something. People love analogies! Why on this very site, there have been articles on how law school and/or (or as we like to say, or) the LSAT is like pie charts, surfing, Keanu Reeves, the Olympics, and of course, dinosaurs. That’s when I asked myself why use a sniper rifle, picking these off one by one, when you can use a goddamned Gatling gun? Here comes the relevance!

The LSAT is Like…

Steffi DiDomenicantonio (born April 28, 1989), nicknamed Steffi D, is a Canadian singer from Orleans, Ontario, and the fifth-place finalist in the 2006 season of Canadian Idol.

Steffi probably thought she was pretty hot shit when she was the fifth-place finalist in the 2006 season of Canadian Idol. As she should have. This is how you will feel when you get a 171. Should you be proud of yourself when you get it? Definitely. It’s awesome. You’re a winner. Will anyone care at all in four years? That’s a great big no. High scores on the LSAT, just like being a finalist on Canadian Idol, pretty much is the epitome of a small pond.

Meridian is a city in Bosque County in Central Texas. The population was 1,491 at the 2000 census. It is the county seat of Bosque County, Texas[3].
Meridan, TX is inconsequential and stupid. The writing sample on the LSAT is inconsequential and stupid. This is writing itself!

Toomas Hendrik Ilves is the fourth and current President of Estonia.

The LSAT is like Toomas Hendrik Ilves, fourth and current President of Estonia. Sure, the LSAT isn’t a former diplomat and journalist, and the LSAT has also never lead the Social Democratic party in the 1990s. Heck, it hasn’t even been a member of the European Parliament! So why the similarity? Well, you see, you’re going to get a reading comp passage about Ilves. And it’s going to be terrible. Also, just like Ilves, the LSAT is divorced, but lives with it’s current long-term partner, to whom it remains unmarried.

Sturisoma robustum is a species of catfish of the family Loricariidae .

That’s seriously all that Wikipedia gives you about this dumb fish. That article may as well not have been there. It’s just saying, hey, here’s this fish, but guess what? We’re not going to tell you anything about it. That’s sort of like logical reasoning in general. You spend hours and hours practicing it, and in the process you learn interesting tidbits of information. Pot can cure herpes? Some bridge killed a bunch of Canadians? British people are chibbing each other? After giving you such tempting nuggets, they tell you nothing else, leaving you unsatisfied and wanting. And half the time, just like Wikipedia, they’re lying to you.

Dental tourism is a subset of the sector known as medical tourism. It involves individuals seeking dental care outside of their local healthcare systems.

Normally when you think of tourism, you think of fun, sights, expensive restaurants, stupid bus tours, and Disneyland. Dental tourism, though, sounds terrible, and basically consists of flying to Poland for a root canal.

When you think of games, you might think of anything from lawn bowling to Stratego to competitive sports. Logic games, though, require you to frantically figure out when Adam gets a dental appointment if he must get it on a day before, but not immediately before Jaroslaw.

Now go study.