There’s nothing quite like being in law school and coming down with a severe case of 3L-itis. If you’re smart, you’re taking a couple of Pass/No Pass courses. You’re doing about half the reading you know you should. You’ve already started thinking about taking the Bar. You may even have a job to go to once you (hopefully) pass the exam. In other words, put a stamp on this semester because you’re mailing it in.
So what’s a 3L with way too much time on his/her hands to do? Any motherf***ing thing you like. Just in case you need a little help, here’s a list to get you started:
1. Sleep in. A lot.
Nothing says, “I don’t have to be an adult yet” quite like purposely failing to set an alarm on a weeknight. You can ignore that 9 a.m. class since you’re probably not doing the reading for it anyway. Take the morning off. Wake up after 10. Make some coffee. Watch cartoons. Do a crossword puzzle. You won’t have that opportunity once you start studying for the bar exam and you sure as hell won’t once you start working.
2. Pick up poker.
You don’t want to go to class, but you also want your mind to stay limber. There are few things quite so stimulating as risking a bit of your own hard-earned cash in the battle of wits that is a poker game. As any connoisseur of Matt Damon films will tell you, the skills that make one proficient at poker can be readily applied to other situations in which you desire a favorable outcome. At the very least, you’ll have a new way to make money if the whole legal career thing doesn’t work out.
3. Let your personal hygiene completely go for at least a week.
Who do you have to impress at this point? Your law school professors? Meh. In fact, your stench will probably ward off potential mates as well, which would certainly benefit you as you head into the Bar exam. No relationship? One less thing to distract you from your studies. And think of the money you’ll save on water and shampoo!
4. Openly eat and drink in the law library.
Enough worrying about the consequences. You’re graduating in a few months. Just wait and see how long it takes to get noticed each time. In fact, you could even have a betting pool. I suggest using an over/under on the number of minutes it takes to get caught, adjusting for the relative stench and noisiness of a given meal. For instance, tuna on toast with potato chips would probably have an over/under of 5.5 minutes. Gazpacho would likely be around 45 minutes. You get the picture. At least it’ll make sport of being in the library.
5. Start a blog.
Nothing gives one an air of faux-significance quite like putting one’s opinions on the internet (and I should know). Pick a subject in which you’re interested and conversant and get a site on WordPress. Then proceed to find out just how bad you are at writing about something that isn’t law-related. Trust me, it’s quite the learning experience and it’ll keep you sharp, assuming that’s a concern of yours.
6. Bonus (For Men Only): Grow a beard.
There will be few other times in your life when you can do so without people snickering. Take advantage. Grow a big, furry monster on that face of yours and revel in the excellent scratchiness that only a massive beard can deliver. You shan’t be sorry.
Until next time y’all!
