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LSAT Propositions We Wish Were on This Year’s Ballot

It’s Election Day! As you read this, voters across the United States are casting their ballots for president, their congressional representatives, and various local races. Here in California, we also have various ballot propositions covering topics ranging from GMO foods to taxes to the death penalty. Voters in Washington and Colorado will decide whether to legalize marijuana; Maine, Washington, Maryland and Minnesota will vote on gay marriage.

As an LSAT test taker, wouldn’t it be nice if you could vote on policies related to the LSAT? With that in mind I propose the following LSAT propositions:

LSAT Proposition 23: The Bubbling Grace Period Act

Proposition 23 will affect the proctoring procedure at the end of each LSAT section. If proposition 23 passes, the proctor’s signal at the end of the 35 minutes for each LSAT section will no longer be a firm command to put pencils down. Instead, when the proctor calls “time” at the end of the section, LSAT test takers will have a five-second grace period in which to fill in bubbles on the answer sheet.

LSAT Proposition 86: Constitutional Amendment Establishing Procedure for Recalling Proctors

According to current policy, LSAT test takers who are unhappy with the behavior of their proctors have no recourse until after the LSAT is over. Proposition 86 would amend the LSAT constitution to establish a recall mechanism for proctors who might be disturbing the testing experience in ways including but not limited to: talking on the phone during the LSAT, playing video games with sound on during the test, and failing to time sections accurately. If proposition 86 passes, any LSAT test taker will be able to propose a recall of any proctor in his or her LSAT testing room at any time between sections. Such a move to recall shall be put to an immediate vote of the LSAT test takers in the room. If two thirds or greater vote for recall, the offending proctor shall leave immediately. As a safeguard against frivolous recall attempts, anyone who proposes a recall that gets fewer than half the votes in the room shall be made to write the writing sample with his or her non-dominant hand (left hand if right-handed, right hand if left-handed, foot if ambidextrous).

LSAT Proposition 215: Compassionate Care, Medical Coffee for LSAT Test Takers

If passed, proposition 215 will recognize the medical benefits of coffee. Any LSAT test taker with a doctor’s note (real or forged) indicating a recommendation for coffee shall be allowed to bring coffee into the LSAT testing room, to have coffee on his or her desk, and to drink coffee during each section.

LSAT Proposition 34: Moratorium on Dinosaurs

If passed, Proposition 34 will demand that the authors of the LSAT cease writing questions about dinosaurs for a period of no less than five years. No logical reasoning questions about their extinction shall be allowed, nor shall dinosaur-themed logic games.

If you’re a US citizen and you haven’t voted already, inform yourself about the candidates and issues on your ballot, and get to your polling place. Here’s hoping the results won’t take too long to be confirmed.