A. Tennis star and drooling-tennis-fanboy-dreamgirl Maria Sharapova failed a drug test for the Australian Open. She has a whole bunch of excuses or whatever that we didn’t listen to because we were too busy dreaming of being in a LTR with Maria. The Guardian
B. A student who graduated from Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego is suing the school because, a decade after graduation, she still hasn’t found a lawyer job. Isn’t suing a lawyer job? Quartz
C. In maybe-there-is-a-reason-to-live-in Houston-other-than-self-loathing news, a woman danced naked atop a semi in traffic for two hours on Highway 29. Yeeeeeeeehawwww! CBS News
D. Dork states Oklahoma and Nebraska are suing popular state Colorado over legalized pot. Why don’t you guys just… um… do whatever it is people do in Oklahoma and Nebraska for fun (we’re assuming it includes tormenting farm animals) and let everyone else have their fun? Denver Post
E. Here’s a house wrapped around a tree. We’re not sure we agree with the “treehouse” characterization. Mental Floss
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