A. Dude who seemed like he never really was running for president has announced (confirmed?) that he’s not running for president. Anymore, at least. Reuters
B. In ironic misfortune news, an elderly woman was strangled by her medical alert necklace. Associated Press
C. We here at Blueprint have always thought it’s safe to do the opposite of whatever Miley Cyrus is doing, but now she says she’s NOT voting for Trump, and our heads are about to explode. Pop Crush
D. So, some moms apparently make jewelry out of their breast milk. Yep. Star Tribune
E. Steve “Thirsty Guy” Sarkisian’s lawsuit against former employer USC is headed to binding arbitration. Sarkisian has not yet decided whether he will wear a shirt to said arbitration. LA Times
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