There are only two certainties in this world — death and taxes. So far I’ve been successful at procrastinating on both.
But if things go according to schedule, I will have to file my tax return before April 17 (two days later this year because April 15 falls on a Sunday and April 16 is Emancipation Day in DC). I’m not too excited about it. Sure, I’ll receive a handsome refund, but no amount of money seems worth an hour of math-like activity.
In more ways than one (five ways, actually), doing your taxes is a lot like taking the LSAT. Since we’ve wasted enough time this year, let’s take a look:
HOW TAX DAY IS LIKE LSAT TEST DAY I: So Many Moneys
The IRS might be hooking you up with the funds for a new big screen, but don’t forget: You had to pay a pretty penny first. That’s America, though. Everyone pays his or her fair share. (Unless you’re running for the Republican Presidential nomination, amiright?)
The LSAT is the same deal. You fork over the Benjamins, and down the road you get your compensation — an LSAT score. And LSAT scores are as good as cash.
(SARCASM!)
HOW TAX DAY IS LIKE LSAT TEST DAY II: Prepare and Perform
You can’t get a tax refund without putting in the work. Literally. You go to work every day, rack up the paychecks, give a chunk to Uncle Sam, then receive a cool little bonus for your efforts. But you’ll receive nothing if you don’t punch the clock.
Although 40 hours a week might be a little extreme for LSAT prep, it takes marathon study session after marathon study session to put yourself in a position to reap the benefits of a successful LSAT administration. The better prepared you are for LSAT test day, the better you’ll perform. Put in the work, earn a decent LSAT score, enroll at a good law school, and pray the school doesn’t email your LSAT score to each of your peers.
HOW TAX DAY IS LIKE LSAT TEST DAY III: Cheaters Rarely Prosper
Nobody likes to be audited, but it happens. Sometimes it’s because of an accident; sometimes it’s anything but. While there aren’t many organizations out there more strict than the IRS, the LSAC might be one of them. If you try to cheat on the LSAT, you’re not going to law school. If you try to cheat on your taxes, you’re not not going to prison.
Then again, go for it! Cheat! You might get away with it!
(SARCASM AGAIN! AREN’T I SO SARCASTIC?!)
HOW TAX DAY IS LIKE LSAT TEST DAY IV: Some Sections Don’t Matter
Unlike the LSAT, there is no experimental section in any of the tax forms. But there are a lot of seemingly meaningless tax forms. We all know the 1040 and the 1040EZ, but what about the 8949 and the 941 and the 8917? Unless you won the lottery as a member of Seal Team 6, there’s no way any of these forms matter. So that’s kind of like the LSAT, right? Sure. Let’s continue.
HOW TAX DAY IS LIKE LSAT TEST DAY V: Procrastination is a Bad Idea
Don’t be me. I’m having fun now, joking around about my incompetent financial responsibilities, but come Sunday or Monday night (probably Monday night), I’m going to be pulling my hair and cursing my past self for waiting so long to do my taxes. The only positive is that I might get my refund in time to buy Christmas presents.
If you procrastinate on your LSAT prep, you’re not going to be ready for LSAT test day. You’re only making the LSAT more difficult than it already is. And nobody needs that.
(SINCERITY!)
