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Back to Law School: The Second Semester


It’s back to school time once again, which means two things: 1) I’m pretty pissed that I’ve already used my one free allusion to the Billy Madison song and 2) I actually have things to write about again. As always, my world is filled with equal parts good and bad.

Even better, this time around I not only have subjects to write about, but some perspective on how they all fit together. I have to admit, I spent the first few weeks of last semester blindly wandering about, semi-paralyzed with fear that someone was going to find out I was an imposter with nothing more than an odd talent for color-coding dinosaurs, who really had no business being at a top law school. Luckily, I’ve since come to realize that 95% of the people at my school have no real business being there and the other 5% are too busy planning their route to a Supreme Court clerkship to give a damn about someone like me.

Additionally, law school has a pretty steep learning curve. Most law school classes rely pretty heavily on case law, and despite small differences in writing styles between different judges, once you get the hang of reading an opinion, the time spent studying begins to shrink quickly. Plus, once you get an idea of what your professor is likely to ask when you do get cold-called you can spend less time reviewing every single detail of the case during class, and more time judging the fantasy football picks of the dude sitting in front of you. (Since I care considerably less about football than baseball, most of my judging is based on tush-tightness and Hollywood dating history. It’s a complicated algorithm, but basically Tom Brady always wins.)

The other change with second semester is the newfound sense that I am entitled to form opinions about the world into which I have thrown myself. At the start of this law school quest, whenever something struck me as distasteful, I generally chalked it up to my unfamiliarity with the world of cocktail parties and Windsor knots, and declined to express my true feelings on the subject. After a few months, I’m feeling considerably more comfortable with the whole situation, and may not be quite as willing to withhold judgment. Don’t get me wrong; I am still a fan of law school and unlikely to become some whiney complainer who yearns for the scientific aptitude necessary to become a doctor. But there are some negative aspects that I intend to share for the enjoyment of my readers. Previously, this would have meant simply the MSS staff. Luckily, it appears that after a few drinks, my new trick is to bookmark this page in the smart phones of all my non-law school friends. So feel free to chime in guys.

To end this post about my reentry into the world of 1L classes, I leave you with a list of 2nd Semester Resolutions.

Resolution #1
Go to more law school events. It seems that there are a lot of fascinating people who are willing to come and tell law students all about whatever it is they know all about. In the long run, I’m pretty sure I’ll benefit more from thinking about what they have to say than I will from reading one more court opinion written in 1850. Also, there is generally free food.

Resolution #2
Don’t peruse the internet during class. If, for some reason, I do accidentally wander online: Don’t laugh out loud while the professor is lecturing.

Resolution #3
Find myself a steamy law school lover. Alternatively, invent a steamy law school lover for the purpose of writing more interesting blogs. (See what I did right there? Now nobody will ever know if I’m telling the truth or not. Suckaaaaaas.)

Resolution #4
Watch more absurd nighttime dramas. Outwardly, pretend to judge and scorn. Inwardly, secretly hope that one day my life will be as fun and dramatic.

Finally, no resolution list would be complete without the reigning king:

Resolution #5
Don’t get fat. Even if it wouldn’t affect my legal future, it would make “Plan C: Trophy Wife” considerably harder to achieve. And let’s face it, these loans are going to have to get paid off somehow.