Let’s be real, nursing isn’t just administering medications and charting. Nursing is a career about people, their stories, and sometimes, their losses. If you’ve been in nursing long enough (or even if you’re just starting out), you’ll face grief—that of your clients, their families, and sometimes, even your own. So how do you navigate grief, without getting lost in it yourself?
Let’s talk about it. Here’s what you need to know about loss and grief as a nurse.
1. You’ll learn a bit about grief in nursing school, but not everything.
Nursing school teaches you about the stages of grief, the importance of therapeutic communication, and maybe even a bit about end-of-life-care. But nothing truly prepares you for what it feels like to be at a client’s bedside when they take their last breath or to comfort a family that just got the worst news of their lives. That’s something you learn in real time, and it can be overwhelming.
If you’re a new nurse, know that it’s okay to feel unprepared. Everyone does at first. The key is to be open to learning, ask for guidance from more experienced nurses, and allow yourself the space to process what you’re experiencing.
2. There are rules of thumb that can make difficult conversations go more smoothly.
Breaking bad news, or talking about loss, is one of the hardest things you’ll do as a nurse. It’s not something you ever want to “get used to,” but you can learn how to approach it with confidence and compassion.
Here’s a few key things to keep in mind:
Silence is okay.
You don’t always need to fill the space with words. Sometimes just being present is enough.
It’s important to acknowledge their emotions.
Saying things like “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you,” or “I’m so sorry you’re going through this” can help validate the emotions and experience.
Keep it simple and honest.
Families appreciate clear, direct communication. If they ask tough questions, be kind but maintain honesty. The medical field, and everything it brings, can be very overwhelming and scary for clients and their families. Remember that they’re looking to you for guidance and honesty.
Offer support.
Sometimes, it’s just a hand on their shoulder. Other times, it’s connecting them with a chaplain, social worker, or grief counselor.
The biggest thing? Don’t feel like you have to fix this. You can’t take their pain away, but you can support them through it. 💙
3. There are healthy ways to process your own grief as a nurse.
No one talks enough about how you process grief as a nurse. You spend so much time caring for others that it’s easy to push your own feelings aside. That only works for so long before burnout, caregiver fatigue, or emotional exhaustion sets in.
Some ways to handle grief in a healthy way include:
Talking about it.
Find someone you trust, a coworker, mentor, therapist, or friend, who understands what you’re going through.
Give yourself permission to feel.
You’re allowed to be sad. You’re human and this work is heavy.
Create a closure ritual.
Some nurses take a quiet moment after a client passes. Others write their names down, say a quick prayer, or reflect on their impact.
Set emotional boundaries.
It’s okay to care deeply, but you also need to protect your own emotional well-being. Recognize when you need space.
4. There are ways to leave grief at work (without shutting off your heart).
Bringing work home—physically or emotionally—is something every nurse struggles with. When you witness loss at work, it’s hard to walk through your front door and just “turn it off.” But carrying too much of it can weigh you down, impacting your own well-being and personal life in a negative way.
Here’s how to create a healthy balance:
Debrief after hard shifts.
Whether it’s with a coworker or just in your own journal, processing your emotions helps you release them.
Do something that resets your mind.
Get some exercise.
Listen to music.
Take a shower.
Find anything that signals to your brain that work is over and home is home. Try and do this same task immediately following every shift to set that pattern in your brain.
Know when you need professional help.
If you find yourself constantly thinking about work, struggling with anxiety, or feeling emotionally numb, therapy can be a game changer.
5. You’re not alone in this.
Please know you’re not alone in this. Nursing and grief go hand and hand, but you don’t have to carry it alone. Lean on your coworkers, seek support, and give yourself the same compassion you show your clients. The fact that you feel this deeply is what makes you an incredible nurse.
Final Thoughts
Keep these points in mind as you take care of people who are dealing with loss and grief. It’s alright if you don’t always know what to do, especially when you’re just starting out. Learning how to handle all this is something of a journey. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way. 💙
Looking for more (free) tips for nursing professional practice? Check out these other posts written by real deal RNs:
