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Law School: The First Lessons


Law School: The First Lessons
So it begins. As I try to wrap my head around the full extent of what I’ve gotten myself into, the ensuing fog keeps causing me to run into door frames and end tables. Yet, a few things have been coming through clearly, namely those myths I had heard before I started school that I have already discovered to be untrue. So enjoy, as I share my new knowledge to dispel three law school myths.

Myth Number 1 – There are enough welcome events for 1st year law students that you won’t actually have to spend any money on food for at least a month.

Admittedly, this one was not something I ever thought about before law school, but it has been repeated so often in the past few weeks that I wanted to address it. It is soundly untrue. For starters, you’d have to be willing to live on one meal a day, and secondly, that one meal would either be three-hour-old hamburgers or popsicles. Now even if you find that appealing – after all, fad diets make for great book deals – the bigger problem is that every other 1L is just like you. Starving and friendless. So the entire class descends upon said event (and hint: it’s not because they are hoping to join the Association of San Marino Students against Tandem Sky Diving) and when all is said and done, at least half are left shaking their empty fists as their classmates chew happily on their ground beef. So long story short, don’t blow your food budget on online poker quite yet, you’re probably going to need it.

Myth Number 2 – Everyone in law school is unattractive and socially unacceptable.

Ok, so I know that a part of everyone knows this can’t be true, after all there are attractive lawyers, so there must be attractive people in law school. (Nerd Challenge: Find the flaw). Regardless, it is probably the most pervasive of all law school myths – I know I’ve heard it more than once. So I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to believe it. I would even go so far as to estimate you could date 75% of the members of my class and not describe him/her to your mom as “My new special someone, s/he has a great personality.” I mean, are they Abercrombie models? No. But some could have a shot at the Sears Catalog. So rest assured, if you are aiming to go to law school for the most expensive M.R./ M.R.S degree known to man, your shopping prospects aren’t miserable.

Myth Number 3 – Law school professors are the most terrifying creatures on earth, even scarier than Amy Winehouse.

Now don’t get me wrong. Law school professors are intimidating. They know way more than you and each one has about a 12% impact on your first year grades, which I am under the impression will be more important than my ability to speak English when it comes time to get a job in the legal world. However, the ones I have met so far don’t seem intent on terrorizing law students, I’d even say they seem interested in teaching them about the law. I mean, it’s early still, and I’m sure I’ll one day meet that professor who makes me want to cry, but for now I feel comfortable that if I’m relatively prepared for class I should leave with the majority of my pride intact.

Of course, not everything I had heard about law school is shaping up to be false. I’ve already forgotten what the inside of my gym looks like, I’ve read more textbook pages than I had by Halloween in undergrad, and a number of my classmates seem a little more, ahem, competitive than the general population. However, my general sense of optimism is slowly replacing my previous dread. Maybe, just maybe, this won’t be as bad as I feared.