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A Pathetic Legal Halloween


The whole “1L” thing may have started off as a leisurely stroll through entertaining readings and free booze, but I have to report for the second week in a row that things are definitely heating up. Not just competition wise, but also in demands on my oh-so-valuable time. That’s right, it turns out that getting a JD does involve more than minimal work. Who knew?

To be honest, the extra stress has been getting to me, and I’m not really sure why. I mean, except for the four years I spend in my undergrad bubble of drinking and online social network discovery, this is still the easiest thing I’ve ever done. Even high school was worse. Not that the actual learning part of high school was more difficult, but we were locked in that damn building for eight hours a day. Plus, on a personal level, I was in the middle of a really extended awkward phase, which has lasted roughly from birth until now. Luckily, I eventually discovered push up bras. Consequently, people started to care a lot less about my inability to interact in a social setting.

More recently, I had an actual job and that was indefinitely more difficult than law school (I’m willing to bet) ever will be. So I’m a little dismayed that this small increase in workload has caused such ripples in my previously tranquil world. By this past weekend, I was really looking forward to break from the routine. Luckily, there is nothing less routine than a day dedicated to dressing in disguise and getting unabashedly inebriated. Halloween couldn’t have come at a better time.

Now, Halloween is my third favorite holiday. I really like eating food and watching my family get dangerously intoxicated and say inappropriate things, so Thanksgiving takes number one. Christmas runs a close second, since it involves the same two activities. The problem is that it costs more money. Halloween, unfortunately, doesn’t involve my family. So it has to settle for the bronze. But Halloween does have its own set of wonders, in particular the fact that, really, anything goes. It is fully expected that people are out of control on Halloween, and there really isn’t anything you can do to embarrass yourself. As you can imagine, I was pretty excited to see my fellow law students under such circumstances. Unfortunately, that excitement was not warranted.

A few days before the 31st, my school had a Halloween party at one of those random midtown clubs that are frequented by people from Jersey and Long Island on the weekends, and whatever group wants to rent it out during the week. Ideal for making bad decisions. Too bad that I’m really starting to think that most law students don’t make bad decisions. At least not publicly. It’s starting to really bug me.

Costumes were mainly a mix of historical and political references, superheroes and animal ears. That last one in particular is annoying, and practically unacceptable ever since Mean Girls was released. Sorry ladies, thanks to Ms. Fey, the jig is up. Even worse though, is that the law school version doesn’t involve lingerie. Rather, it involves conservative garb that approximates the correct color of the animal’s fur, plus ears. Although I was impressed that someone actually managed to find a light grey turtleneck shirt post 1988, wearing it with a pair of mouse ears does not make a costume. Not impressive. I had hoped with our combined resumes, someone would have come up with something really awesome, and the disappointment was a bitter pill to swallow.

Likewise, the debauchery level was far below where it should have been. Sure there was drinking. There was some dancing. There were a lot of pictures taken, followed by cries of “Oh my god, erase that. If that ends up on Facebook I’m going to kill you!”

My mental answer: Really? Why? Afraid that future employers are going to find your conservative black sheath dress and pointed black hat offensive? I think you’re going to be okay.

In short, and I’m sorry the report was disappointing, but the night was, well, normal. I mean sure, I had a pair of wings on, but other than that- pretty standard. By the end of the night I was slightly buzzed and not looking forward to the next three decades of lawyerly Halloweens.

Luckily, having learned my lesson, I spent the real Halloween with friends who were completely unconnected to law school. Let’s just say I got the break from routine that I needed. And some good stories to share at Thanksgiving.